Wednesday, April 16, 2008

I Hate Garden Ornaments

I will not deny it... I am a garden snob. I, with every ounce of my being, hate garden ornaments or other cutsie additions to a lawn. I just see no purpose to them. The most beautiful garden can be reduced to an eyesore with the placement of a resin squirrel, a gardening granny with her bloomers showing or a pink flamingo. I'm all for making a statement; but a plastic pink flamingo?? No thanks. Not in my garden!

There are some lawn decorations that are just plain ugly (those I described above) but the little scary creatures shown to the right are just plain frightening. See the one with the pipe and the axe? I'm sure he's responsible for the neighbor lady that's been missing since last summer. Gone without a trace. There must be some sort of repellent I can put on the lawn to prevent these evil little men from creeping into my neighborhood. I can't even look at them. They just give me the creeps.

Most of all, I want to just throw up when I see someone do something like this to their yard. Now I ask you, WHY???? Why would anyone think that placing a well worn toilet filled with potting soil and annuals is charming or attractive?!? I don't know about you, but this doesn't quite call me in to explore the rest of the garden! Is this what they call 'whimsy?' Blech! It's pretty disgusting.

When I garden and create my outdoor living space, it's not about "cute." Rather, it's about structure, it's about texture, it's about contrast, it's about color. Gardening is painting a beautiful picture and your lawn (regardless of size) is your canvas.

I guess some people still think that velvet paintings of dogs playing poker or Elvis are fine works of art. Outdoor ornaments? They are NOT a good thing!


Elaine said...

I so agree with you there, my friend! What are people thinking?!!!

mike said...

You take all the fun out of decorating one's garden. It's people like you that turn people away from the joys of garden design and self expression. I suppose the clay (yes, clay) chow chows that guard my back steps are on your "no" list as well.

Kenn said...

You bet ya! No fake animals! :)

leef said...

I agree. Once for a friend's housewarming, we gave tacky lawn ornament gifts, flamingos, etc. It was awful